Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
