found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
