He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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