All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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