Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
