omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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