Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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