I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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