Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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