FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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