I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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