So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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