If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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