well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I just found a bag of teeth...
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
