I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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