so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
