And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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