She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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