Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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