hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
