i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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