My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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