I didn't shave. On purpose
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
