I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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