I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
