I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
