Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
