smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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