I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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