Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
