Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Randomize
