all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
