her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
