its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
