she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
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I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
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Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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