that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
