I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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