dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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