Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
