I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
