Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Fuck appropriateness.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
