I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
