dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
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I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
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