my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
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