Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
