i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
