I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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