Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
