Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
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