he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Randomize
