theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize