do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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