i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
