people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
