I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
