I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
