Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize