i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
