shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
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