the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize