IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
