god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
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