I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
