he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
