The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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