so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize